97 Latest Jokes

Computer Joke

When I decided to improve my computer skills, I threw myself into it with enthusiasm. Every week I'd check out five or six instructional books from the library. After about a month the librarian commented, "Wow! You must really be getting knowledgeable by now." "Thanks," I said. "How can you tell?" The librarian explained, "Only two of the books you're checking out this week have For Dummies in their titles."

Classmate Joke

While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 45 years ago. Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was too old to have been my classmate. After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school. "Yes," he replied. "When did you graduate?" I asked. "In 1952." "Why, you were in my class!" I exclaimed. He looked at me closely and then asked, "What did you teach?"

Textbook Joke

Cards offering used textbooks for sale are posted on the college notice board at the beginning of each semester. One read: "Introduction to Psychology, $8, never used." The card was signed, "Must sell." The next day a note had been added: "Good price. Are you sure it's never been used?" Signed, "Prospective buyer." Below in a different hand was: "Positive!" Signed, "Professor who graded his exam."

Insane Joke

A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen! Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in. Someone inside pokes him in the eye. Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!

Travelling Joke

Three engineers and three accountants were travelling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each bought tickets and watched as the three engineers bought only one ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked an accountant. "Watch and you'll see", answered an engineer. They all boarded the train. The accountants took their respective seats, but the three engineers all crammed into a rest room and closed the door behind them. Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around collecting tickets. He knocked on the restroom door and said, "Ticket, please". The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The conductor took it and moved on. The accountants saw this and agreed it was a quite clever idea. So, after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they got to the station, they bought a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers didn't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to ride without a ticket"? said one perplexed accountant. "Watch and you'll see", answered an engineer. When they boarded the train, the three accountants crammed into a restroom and the three engineers crammed into another one nearby. The train departed. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers left his restroom and walked over to the restroom where the accountants were hiding. He knocked on the door and said, "Ticket, please."

Restaurant Joke

John was starving!! He was stuck in a small hick town, lost and hungry. He was happy when he saw a small restaurant coming up on his right. John quickly pulled over, parked his car, and walked inside. John noticed a blackboard with a sign written in yellow chalk, “Today’s Special: Vegetable Soup with Fried Chicken and Grilled Vegetables.” “I’ll take the special”, said John to the waiter when he came to take his order. A few minutes after receiving his order John called over the waiter, he was fuming mad. “IS THIS THE SPECIAL!? It says vegetable soup, BUT THERE ARE NO VEGETABLES! It says grilled vegetables, BUT THEY AREN’T GRILLED THEY ARE BAKED!? And it says fried chicken, AND THE CHICKEN ISN’T FRIED!? The waiter was not used to city folks and their attitudes and frankly he was not going to put up with this behavior. “My dear man,” said the waiter looking down at John over his glasses, “that is what makes it so special!!!”

Best short funny computer jokes with hilarious new classmate jokes. More humor with crazy insane jokes and good travelling jokes including amazing textbook jokes. Includes comedy fun videos.